Author: Kara Lynch

For years, I struggled with the notion that I was “less than” because of my bipolar disorder. I felt I would never find true love, accomplish my goals or be able to love myself because of my diagnosis. I saw my symptoms as significant flaws that were holding me back from everything I ever wanted.

After a few years of living in disarray and not working towards my potential, I began soul searching. I realized I could live the life I wanted with my diagnosis—I realized it all started with how I treated myself.

Here are four ways you can love yourself as a black woman with mental health challenges:

1. Find Your Affirmation

While trying to get to the root of my feelings of inadequacy, I found my faith again. I returned to small concepts I learned as a child in church. During this time, I was dealing with a great deal of anxiety, so I wrote scriptures on sticky notes and stuck them to my mirror. I read them while putting on my makeup every day, sometimes aloud and sometimes silently.

Those scriptures helped me see that for everything I was feeling, God was my remedy. I had to remember I am wonderfully made for a purpose and my diagnosis is not a mistake or a flaw that makes me incomplete, but a piece of who I am that makes me unique and more qualified for my journey. It’s been about two years, and the same scriptures are still there. You can use quotes that affirm or lift you.

2. Put Yourself First

In dealing with my mental health diagnosis, sometimes I’m not as social. I let phone calls and text messages go unanswered. I’ve been absent from family events. I’ve even put my college degree on hold to get myself back into a positive headspace. It isn’t always easy, but looking back, it’s been worth it. What can you contribute to the ones you love most with your head in the sand? What good is a college degree if you can’t get up in the morning and use it at your job?

In putting myself first, I’ve found the people and things I put on hold were still there when I emerged a better, healthier person. Of course, there has to be an understanding, and they have to be aware of your issues for this to work out, but the people who truly love you always will understand. If things have gotten out of control for you, or you’re busy and not productive, take a step back and don’t be afraid to say no. Try focusing on you and see how things change.

3. Ask for Help

I fought before asking for help for the longest time. I grew up in a single-parent, only-child household where my mother was superwoman. She handled her job, her child, and her family obligations and went to church every Sunday. She was more than competent in every regard. I watched her build a great life for us, and as I began to battle with my mental health, I felt as though I should have been able to handle it all, as she did.

My sophomore year in college, I broke down and asked for help. I began seeing therapists. It was a hard decision, but one of the best decisions I ever made. The same was true when it came to asking my family for support. It’s still tough, but I push through.

Recently, I called my cousin to chat with her. I told her I was experiencing anxiety. She talked me through the issues that were concerning me, made me laugh, as always, and told me she loved me. Maybe you need a therapist, or perhaps you need just a listening ear, but either way, don’t try to carry it all alone.

4. Protect Your Peace

As women of color, we often have to fight the stigma within our communities surrounding mental health challenges. There have been times in my mental health journey when people I trusted have given me advice based solely on their opinion or lack of knowledge. It can leave you feeling even more inadequate and questioning what you know to be true for yourself.

For instance, a loved one once told me they didn’t believe I was bipolar. Because I am a very strong person who understands what I’ve gone through, I let the comment go. But for someone who struggles with coming to terms with their diagnosis or challenges, this comment could have been very damaging.

You will cross paths with people who don’t think mental health diagnoses are real or don’t believe in treating mental health conditions with medication, but I am here to tell you that you have to protect your peace by doing what’s best for you. Also, you may have to limit your interactions with people who invalidate your struggle. Protecting your peace includes changing how you deal with people or situations that interfere with your harmony and happiness.

I’ve worked extremely hard to get to a positive space in my life, and I’m sure you have, too. Lately, I’ve found myself ending negative conversations. If I’m talking to someone and they are negative, I stop the conversation or shift to a positive topic. This is not selfish: It’s self-care.

These four practices have empowered me to live unapologetically. They have led me to my purpose and given me the courage to pursue my dreams. I hope these tactics give you the confidence you need to build your own system of loving yourself.

This content was first released on NAMI.org in July 2019.

In a three-part series, we will be taking a deep dive into lived experience, what it means to know by living from the youth voice and lived expertise from the family perspective! This month’s tools come from the Assistant Secretary For Planning and Evaluation Office of Human Services Policy.

The temperature has dropped, the daylight hours have decreased, and for some this means the Winter Blues has set in. This can be overwhelming especially for those battling the physical and mental downside the change in season while supporting those with mental health challenges. Here are three ways to combat the Winter Blues as a lived experience professional:

1. Be Productive. Keeping busy and being productive can aid in fighting the Winter Blues. The sense of accomplishment that comes from productivity releases dopamine, a hormone that plays a role in learning and motivation. Other ways to get dopamine include exercising, reading a book, or spending time in nature. Productivity doesn’t always mean doing something that will add another check to your to-do list such as completing documentation or a training. Sometimes it means doing something that your future self and those that you support will thank you for later, such as spending time with a pet.

2. Sunlight. Sunlight is vital for those fighting the Winter Blues because when there is less sunlight, the body produces less serotonin. A deficit in serotonin can lead to a decrease in mood, sleep, appetite, and memory. Get outside during daylight hours as much as possible. You can do this by taking walks through your neighborhood during your breaks if you work from home, having lunch outside or even meeting with your youth and families outside. A nice change in scenery can do wonders not only for you, but those you support. After all, you are probably not the only one struggling, so bundle up and get outside!

3. Stay connected. During the cold months, it’s easy to want to stay in and sleep and eat more than usual. Do not fall victim to those desires by staying connected to friends, family, and co-workers. One way to stay connected is to keep up with any holiday traditions with friends and family. If you don’t have any, take the time and put forth the effort to create some. If you’ve lost family members in recent years, be intentional about creating new memories with those who are still with you. Staying connected prevents isolation and helps fight the Winter Blues.

This month we’ve focused on defining what we do through a social media explainer video campaign that coincided with Global Peer Support Celebration Day on October 19th. A couple of other examples  of how we make an impact through lived experience come directly from the Family Partner Workforce.

Lydia Aponte-Tucker shared, “I am blessed to have a profession that allows me to help and give in such of meaningful way. I’m dedicated to support, educate and provide resources to parents and caregivers whose child or children are experiencing mental health conditions. I help navigate and facilitate resources available to ensure the best quality of life for my families. My passion for my profession originated after experiencing being a parent of a child with a mental health condition with no support nor knowledge at the beginning of our journey. Realizing that a lot of the challenges and obstacles I went through came from the lack of support, the lack of knowledge and the lack of resource awareness was the force behind me becoming a Family Partner. I am committed to be part of the movement that will take mental health to the next level because we have come far with mental health, but we still have a long way to go.”

“If I never do anything else, this class has helped and validated my experience so much I was just able to speak with a provider calmly assertively and eloquently while highlighting the common ground. We are the change and I believe that with every fiber of my being!,” proclaimed Jessica Page, a Family Partner 101 participant.

If you or someone you know is the caregiver of a youth or young adult who has mental or behavioral health challenges and is interested in learning more about utilizing their experience, please contact our Family Training Coordinator, Frederick Douglas at fmdougla@uncg.edu!

Finding addiction treatment shouldn’t be hard. When you decide to change your life, you should feel confident that your treatment facility will support you in your journey, using services backed by research and science. But unfortunately, that isn’t the case for everyone.

I began my recovery journey eight years ago.

At the time, I was facing suspension for my drinking history. Still, the University of Connecticut gave me another chance, as long as I attended a Collegiate Recovery meeting once per week, went to therapy and a harm reduction group, and attended 12-step meetings daily.

Life didn’t magically get better because I stopped using substances. It became increasingly more difficult – at the beginning of my sobriety, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Years after I got sober, I was hospitalized twice and in mental health treatment for one year.

Looking back, I can see that due to untreated mental health issues, I wanted to drink every day in my first year of sobriety. Even after that year, I struggled because I was only being treated for part of the problem – my addiction. Suicidal thoughts plagued me daily until I found the proper medication; not having treatment for my addiction AND mental health could have cost me my life.

If Shatterproof’s Treatment Atlas had been available to me, I’m confident that my journey through treatment would have looked very different.

The website can be used by anyone touched by addiction to search for and compare treatment based on their individual needs. For me, I needed to find treatment for co-occurring disorders. I also needed mental health medication, treatment inclusive of the LGBTQ+ population, and treatment that accepted my insurance – all of which can be found on the Treatment Atlas website, treatmentatlas.org.

This is huge. Not only is Treatment Atlas a resource for those searching for care, but it is also a tool to hold providers accountable – to ensure that the services they offer are helpful, progressive, and backed by science. Treatment Atlas also gives patients like me a voice by providing a space to share their experiences through anonymous feedback surveys.

Treatment Atlas brings a sense of community to the overwhelming journey that is recovery.

I am grateful that I am now a member of the Shatterproof team and get to be a part of helping to guide communities to recovery. For North Carolinians, Treatment Atlas brings a sense of hope – hope that you can find the right treatment program to meet your needs and that you never have to walk this path alone. Although Treatment Atlas wasn’t around to help me during my initial recovery journey, I sincerely hope it can now help you and your loved ones in your time of need. We all deserve confidence in our recovery journeys.

The Guide’s Guide–A blog for lived experience professionals

Hello and welcome to The Guide’s Guide– a blog for lived experience professionals! Here you’ll find posts specifically for individuals who use their lived experience professionally or individuals who would like to learn more about peer support, mental health, behavioral health and how to impact their communities using their lived experience. These posts will come from the NCVA Team or as some say, lived experience experts.

Many people feel that using your lived experience means you’ve mastered some part of your life and for some lived experience professionals that is the case, but the truth is no matter where you find yourself on your journey, you’re still living your lived experience and so are we! Living. Learning. Exploring. For us, using your lived experience simply means supporting someone else on their journey as they face challenges similar to ones you’ve endured. We don’t get to choose how others process their experiences, but we can guide them through it! That’s what the Guide’s Guide is all about–guiding those who guide others and giving them the tools to succeed.

We declare this section of our website a brave space where we acknowledge the challenges that come with using lived experience professionally! We aim to support and empower those who are open to engaging in sometimes difficult yet important issues that surround mental health peer support for the purposes of becoming better lived experience professionals! Whether you are a youth partner, family peer specialist or in training, we hope these posts will add value to your experience and the impact you have on those you serve!

Join the movement by following us on social media and subscribing to our YouTube channel! There’s so much in store!